I find the new round of accusations of illegal drug use against Lance Armstrong very troubling. I not worried about the reputation of the sport, the history of his beloved tour, or the legacy of his alleged accomplishments. Instead, I am concerned for my conversational reputation. On several occassions, I repeated the sportswriter truisms that "Lance actually grew back stronger from cancer," that his near-death "allowed him to selectivly build back key muscle groups," and "blah, he has huge lungs blah, blah." I now admit that mindlessly repeated those observations in hopes of impressing my peers and furthering my own social career. In the face of NPR's faithful reporting, I concede that Lance Armstrong could have used drugs, but I will continue to persume his innocence until his guilt be proven by a court of law or the New York Times.
I hope this confession helps bring closure for those who I have intentionally mislead as to my competence as a professional cycling commentator.
Unrelated, But More Important:
Hall and Oats' "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" addresses the exact same lyrical and emotional themes as Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything Thing For Love (But I Won't Do That)." This reveals an underlying symmetry and order in the universe.